Guardian of Secrets Syn and Loki
by marvelousmindff
Summary: Syn, Norse goddess of truth, handmaiden to Frigga and guardian of the palace, secrets become hers to keep. A powerful Vanir, for which Odin has great expectations... being Loki's dialectic beloved was not part of the Allfather's plans. Sorcerous, sister to Sigyn and Idunn, she's the goddess no one ever talks about, find out why... (MCU plot holes filled in, Canon respected)


Utter dread filled him as he was brought before Odin. Since his wife had been found dead, the nightmare never seemed to ease. News of her death had quickly been followed by his arrest for her murder, and he soon found himself being hauled before the Allfather to account for his crime, something which he could not do. He had only one chance to prove his innocence, he'd invoked the right to be defended by Syn. Any moment the lady would arrive from her post, where she guarded the palace against those unworthy to enter. He awaited her appearance with nearly as much angst and terror as he regarded Odin, for she could be his salvation or damnation. He jumped at the sudden opening of the great doors, breaking the tension in the hall, as the dark lady strode in among them.

He had never laid eyes on her before, but as a commoner of Asgard, this was not unusual. Her duties kept her close to the palace, and while there were not many who had been in close proximity to the Lady Syn, all knew of her. He'd heard fascinating tales whispered about her nobility, and her fierce defense of the palace, but mostly about her powers. In light of these tales he found himself rather struck by how unexpectedly small she was for an Asgardian… barely higher than his shoulder. Adding to her diminutive appearance was the fact that she wore no traditional armor, her mastery of many forms of magic having rendered it virtually unnecessary. Her only visible armor was the delicate golden vambrace on her forearms, which served as a reminder to all that she was an accomplished fighter. As she advanced, he was reminded of other aspects he had heard tell of, noting her pale skin and long dark hair, it was the lady's mesmerizing eyes which left one unable to doubt she wielded magic. Gold ringed pupils encompassed by a ring of rich green at the edges and set under darkly elegant arched brows.

The silence in the room was made more unnerving by her gracefully soundless approach as she came to stand beside him and bowed reverently to the Allfather. Odin acknowledged her with a nod and turned his eyes to the accused, causing her to do so as well. As her eyes met his own, he sucked in a breath and held it. How could he have so casually evaluated this creature a moment ago? When she turned those fearsome eyes upon him he could sense her staring into his bared soul, his every secret laid before her, his every act of shame placed in her hands to be shared with the world or held secret, and he found it difficult to meet those formidable eyes. He did so however, desperately hoping she would not see the secret he wanted most to retain.

He knew it was hopeless the moment her eyes cut away from his to the audience in the chamber, landing unfailingly on Dagmar. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as he heard Dagmar suck in a breath, willing her not to draw attention to herself. Lady Syn slid her eyes back to his and then surprised him by speaking in a low voice, meant for his ears alone, and with more compassion then he would have believed possible. "You could solve all your problems and hers if you simply named the man who slew your wife. Why do withhold it?" His heart sank, she truly had seen all. "I would not bring dishonor to her, or to my wife's memory." Syn retorted "Do you honor either of them by permitting the killer to go free? Your wife paid the price for your infidelity, at the hands of a jealous husband you slighted, and you would keep your silence and leave your lover to her fate, bound as she is to that very killer?" When he did not capitulate, her voice became icy "Better for her to suffer privately then to face dishonor, is that it?" He nodded and lowered his head in shame. She sighed with disgust before Odin spoke up "Has the accused been found guilty?"

Syn turned back to Odin "No my King. He is indeed innocent of the crime of which he is accused." Odin announced "Then I Odin, Allfather and defender of the nine realms, declare he is absolved of this crime as Syn is set against it. However the fact remains that a citizen of Asgard has been murdered in cold blood and for this act there must be retribution. Have you any knowledge of your wife's fate?" The man held his breath, hoping Syn would truly keep her famed oath, a vow that all who knew of her powers were assuaged by and held in the highest regard, that she would keep the secrets of those who willed it of her. She met his eyes again, pleading with him, but he answered "No, my King, I do not." He could see the disappointment in her eyes for a fleeting moment before she turned back to the Allfather. Unspoken words seemed to pass between she and the King, and he held his breath, until Syn cast her eyes to the ground. At this, Odin gestured to the guards and they began to remove his bonds. Syn turned and strode solemnly from the hall, bearing the weight of more secrets, her frustration betrayed only by her tightly clenched fists.

Chapter One

Prince Loki of Asgard had come to call upon his mother, as was his habit, despite the palace being in the midst of final preparations for the coronation. He found his entry briefly barred as a shimmering barrier of runes rippled across the doorway. He paused, lips pursed briefly in a sarcastic smirk, before the barrier dissolved and he heard Syn's gentle laughter from within his mother's chambers. His eyes sought her as he walked inside, but he granted her little more than a brief smile and a nod of greeting before he continued on to find his mother. The uncharacteristically wooden greeting made Syn suspicious. She watched him for a few moments as he interacted with Frigga's handmaidens to inquire after his mother and waited for her. She perceived he was attempting to put on a good face, which immediately captured her interest. He was not even attempting his usual flirting with her when she allowed him entry, a game only ever played between the two of them. Though she'd learned from a young age to be cautious of Loki's manipulative nature, and a somewhat more recent incident between them had resolved her wariness into remoteness, she'd always found his presence entertaining and enjoyed his visits more than any other, though she'd never admit it to him. She was sure he already suspected it anyway.

In childhood, he'd been a dark and intense boy that she'd found she had much in common with, his love of pranks had been amusing at first but grown untenable when her conscience began warning her that she took too much pleasure in such things. As they'd left childhood behind she'd begun questioning what the full extent of his cunning and abilities might be, for she'd been uneasy with his more vengeful pranks. She'd chosen not to encourage his attentions when his charms had begun to feel deliberate, fearing it wasn't just coincidence that he'd intensified his appeal just as the extent of her powers begin to become clear. Powers which could prove devastating in the wrong hands, but her commitment and dedication in wielding them had made them essential to the realm. It was better to stay out of his machinations and keep her responsibilities first in her thoughts.

Now that they were adults she'd learned to shoulder the burden of her powers admirably. She could not see into the hearts of powerful gods as easily as she could into lesser Aesir and other beings but she occasionally captured glimpses into them that were very telling. Loki was different. His mercurial disposition usually prevented her from seeing into his heart at all. She found this was both unsettling and engaging, and had not admitted this unique blind spot in her abilities to any but his mother Frigga. Syn's childhood friendship with Loki had allowed her to compensate for this blindness by becoming very good at physically reading him and trying to stay one step ahead of him mentally. Definitely a challenge.

The heart of Loki's brother, Prince Thor, was no secret to her; especially now that her gifts were fully established. While there was good there in abundance, it was masked in spoiled selfishness, pride, and petulance. Though she always considered Thor a friend, she'd also resented his temper, privileged attitude, tendency to show off, and his haughtiness towards his little brother. She had often been called upon to settle disputes between them, and had always taken Loki's side, well nearly always. Though she was usually the only one to stand up for Loki, if his mischievousness had been to blame, she wisely removed herself from the debate, and called him on it privately. She did not tell lies, even to herself, and acknowledged Loki's pranks could sometimes be as impudent as Thor's behavior.

Though her insight was now based on more than just the observations of childhood, her opinion of Thor had not changed much. While she didn't doubt he could be great one day, Syn knew in her heart, Thor was not ready for the throne. She'd only admitted this to the Allfather when he'd begun to suspect the same and approached her yesterday for her insight on the matter.

On principle, Syn did not allow her gifts to be used to interfere with most matters. She could not, however, deny Odin her perception when he asked for it. He'd ordered her to remain behind after a trial, then commanded all others to leave, causing her no small amount of anxiety when she realized what he was going to ask of her. He'd come to value all her gifts greatly, as well as the insight and fairness with which she applied them. He'd asked for her judgment on the matter as kindly as possibly, knowing that the ramifications of Syn's abilities could be a great burden for her as well as others.

Her status as keeper of secrets caused many to assume she knew all and so they placed absolute trust in her words. To express any private conjecture, or even an offhand opinion, was to influence events and guide them in the very direction she'd surmised they were going, leaving her to wonder if she had been the cause of the resulting events. Odin respected her hesitance to influence outcomes with her conjecture, and so had not validated her reluctantly voiced reservations, but neither had he denied them. Instead he'd surprised her completely by suggesting she would make for a worthy queen to help guide his son, a notion quickly discouraged by her look of distaste, she thought of Thor as a brother. Her tendency to broadcast her inner thoughts plainly on her face was a weakness she understood the benefit of mastering, but she was loathe to hide behind a mask and struggled with it. While she was regretting her inefficiency at hiding her emotions the Allfather had lapsed back into deep thought and then dismissed her with a conciliatory smile.

She'd left fretting over the gleam in his eye that had accompanied his suggestion, and had remained despite his outward dismissal of the idea. She wanted no part in anyone else's designs for her. If her familiarity with the secrets of so many others had taught her anything, it was that strategies never played out as intended; all the realms would be better off without meddlers.

Loki had stirred her curiosity today, and she acknowledged curiosity to be her most overwhelmingly difficult trait to control, she decided to find out if this distraction was stemming from the same unease she was suffering, concerning Thor's coronation tomorrow. If so it was a worry she shared with him in a way few could.

He'd wandered over to her while he waited and she prompted the conversation politely "I understand all plans are in place for the coronation?" The brief surliness on his face told her all she needed to know, before he quickly smoothed his expression to one of gracious and affectionate pride, with a speed born of practice that told her volumes about his true feelings. It was a betrayal of true sentiment few would have caught. His response was equally polite but she knew him well enough to discern the bitter sarcasm subtly exuded in it "Yes, a great celebration worthy of our next king" He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, and added "Bor himself would be proud." His mention of Bor truly startled her, dark things were afoot indeed for him to bring up the brutal King, whom Odin was rumored to have seceded eagerly. Syn's worry was plain on her face as she contemplated his response and he seemed to regret his choice of words. They were interrupted as his mother Frigga entered the room, and greetings were affectionately made between them while Syn discreetly resumed her duties.

Loki, now that she suspected him of some deception, was well aware of her scrutiny. His attempts to hide his discomfort under her surveillance were admirable, but little passed before Syn, when she was of a mind to be perceptive, that she was unaware of or could not derive. After a sufficient amount of time had passed for him to take his leave without appearing rude or hasty, Loki said his goodbyes.

When he'd departed she'd followed him and further down the corridor had made her presence known, surprising him. He smiled at her in that impishly seductive manner he'd been trying to win her over with for so long "I sometimes forget you are vastly gifted in skills, some much more physical than your imposing magic and vision, My lady." Ignoring the flattery as she always did, she'd instead been struck by the possessive inflection he'd placed on the word 'my' and she'd not spoken for a moment, only looked at him appraisingly. Catching the glint of humor in his eye she'd decided it was just a bit of his usual playful behavior and relaxed into the mocking wit of their typical banter. "Conquests should be earned before they are claimed my lord, or one might develop a reputation for a boastful nature."

Today was not a typical day however and his mood soured quickly at her teasing taunt, the nature of which had too easily reminded them both of Thor. Wanting to offer comfort that might forestall whatever scheme she sensed he was up to, she surprised him by blurting "I do not believe Thor will be given the crown today."

She was accustomed to defending her reluctance to speculate on matters her gifts brought to light, so she was expecting some form of surprise in Loki's response to her unbidden sharing of this insight and was even more suspicious at the lack of it. Her words had been deliberately intended to strike a nerve so she could read his recoil, but he'd surprised her with cool reproach "I wouldn't worry overmuch lady Syn, my brother's big day will be rousingly memorable." His face had not lent his words any truth and her eyes had narrowed as she blatantly attempted to read him. At this he'd abruptly dismissed her with a tip of the head and another "My Lady" and left.

Chapter two

Loki had gone to see his brother later that day for the final preparations. Though age made them both pretend that they were more mature and responsible brothers, proximity invariably brought about a return of their immature rivalry, albeit laced with more good humored nostalgia then they'd shown in their childhood. They invariably devolved into bickering, as siblings do, sometimes affectionately, sometimes not. Thor was preparing to dress for the ceremony, and had removed his shirt before the serving girls had finished setting their meal out. They passed him in a giggling blushing huddle as they withdrew. Thor was obviously enjoying himself

"Careful brother, Fandral might feel threatened." Thor had grinned appreciatively and then retorted with heavy sarcasm. "Tell me brother; have you visited lady Syn recently?" Loki refused to take the bait and replied mildly "I visited mother recently." "Oh come now brother, we both know the Dark Lady is the reason you are so attentive in your visits to our mother." Loki was suddenly icy as the barb struck home better than Thor had expected "Are you implying some dishonor on lady Syn?" Thor raised his hands in amused placation "No, Odin forbid it. Peace brother, you know I meant no harm." Loki attempted to restore his sense of humor while Thor playfully continued "Besides who could ever question the honor of the mighty and noble Syn?" these glib epithets made Loki feel obliged to knock Thor down a peg and he blithely replied "I'm sure she could level you on your backside if you tried to say anything of the sort." Thor had paused for a moment in reflection of that possibility "She is a miraculous and terrible sight to behold when she gets going, isn't she. The Valkyrie would be proud. Its infuriating that she chooses to fight so rarely. Just think of it, having her on your side in combat, the battle would be won practically before it begins! Truly, even without her on the battlefield, we could defeat them simply by knowing their intentions through her.

Loki did not like the level of interest taking hold of Thor as he contemplated the potential of Syn and decided to casually bring him back to reality "You know it doesn't work that way with her, her powers take a terrible toll on her. Even if they didn't she still wouldn't give you the satisfaction. Odin himself couldn't make her corrupt her principles, you certainly couldn't." the taunt had been delivered with a smile and was intended to be the last word on the matter, but Thor was thoroughly enjoying what he'd stirred up and continued the game "You make it sound as if these where uncommon traits, brother." Loki's pretense of detachment was tossed aside "They are traits others aspire to while she fulfills them." Loki looked so earnest that Thor sobered and smiled with sincerity "I jest brother; I know you speak the truth of the lady. You're surprisingly easy to rattle today." They changed the topic to lighter things while they finished dressing and attendants arrived to don their ceremonial armor.

Leaving his brother to make his big entrance alone, according to his wishes, Loki entered the throne room beforehand, escorting his mother to the steps of the throne and taking his place on the steps below her. The Queen was resplendent in her golden jewel encrusted gown, but it was no match for the beauty of her bright smile and regal demeanor. After a few moments of standing there Loki was unable to prevent himself from seeking out Syn, glancing to where she stood sentry at the edge of the dais, well behind the warriors three. Though small, she was an imposing figure in the elegant dark robes of her offices; which lay over a gown of pale gossamer fabric delicately inscribed with subtle golden runes as was the golden torque she wore at her throat. The emerald earrings she wore had been a gift from Loki when she'd been appointed guardian of the palace. Her pale face was set with the gravity of the occasion, but as she pushed her long dark hair behind her he caught the flash of her green eyes as she'd stolen a quick glance at him. He'd responded with a smile meant to charm, receiving one of his personal favorites among her facial expressions in return - one elegant dark brow arched in heavy sarcasm, before she'd softened it with the suggestion of a smile at the corner of her lovely lips.

She turned her attention back to the doorway and he could see it was costing her some effort to keep her face devoid of some other emotion that was struggling to bleed through her mask of solemnity. Though she was getting better at keeping her thoughts from her face, old acquaintance had allowed him to discern what others might not. The lady was uneasy and not actually looking forward to the impending events the way the rest of the giddy hall did. Perhaps he'd mistaken her earlier, he'd taken her words to be an attempt to comfort him as the sovereignty he'd been brought up for passed beyond his reach, but maybe she'd been expressing genuine reservations about Thor's suitability.

Thor was late and the party began to stir with unease at this. Loki's contemplations came to an abrupt halt as his realized his father was looking to him for an explanation. Loki answered him with a shrug. It was not an answer his father appreciated. Volstagg muttered under his breath "Where is he?" as the crowd became restless. Loki rejoined in an equally muffled voice "he said he'd be along." Sif suddenly scoffed and shook her head, and at Volstagg's prompting, replied "he wants to make an entrance." Fandral joined in at this point "Well, if he doesn't show up soon, he shouldn't bother. Odin looks like he's ready to feed him to his ravens." Loki reassured them "I wouldn't worry. Father will forgive him. He always does." The comment caught Syn's attention, she knew more than most how true his statement was, and how little of that tolerance had come Loki's way.

Suddenly the room erupted into cheers as Thor came swaggering into the throne room. Loki chanced another glance at Syn, and his certainty of her misgivings increased as he watched her assessing Thor, the anxiety not fading from her eyes. After much strutting, posturing and posing Thor knelt before Odin and the ceremony began. Despite his initial displeasure, Odin's pride was sappily obvious and he spoke words filled with sentiment having eyes only for his first born.

Annoyed by this, and yet also accustomed to it, Loki decided to let his eyes linger on Syn instead. Odin praised the hammer Thor wielded, evoked the ancient oaths of leadership, and was on the brink of proclaiming Thor protector of the nine realms, when Syn had abruptly taken on a faraway expression, just as suddenly her eyes refocused with pressing intensity as she'd quickly turned to Odin and done what few others would have had the right, or the daring, to do. She interrupted the crowning of a King "My Lord…" Odin immediately gave Syn his complete focus, halting his words midsentence. Her next words provided all the explanation she needed to give "The vault!" and he too briefly took on the same faraway gaze she'd displayed, then refocused, searching her eyes before exclaiming "Frost giants." He'd tapped his spear, Gungnir, to waken the Destroyer and strode from the hall, followed by the princes and Syn and bringing the ceremony to an abrupt halt.

Chapter three

Once outside the hall, Syn opened a portal for them, following behind Thor and Loki as Odin led the way through to the doorways of the vault. Though guarding the realm against intruders was Heimdall's responsibility, guarding over the doorways inside the palace, even from Asgardians, was hers. Someone had just overcome them both, penetrating the heart of the palace, gaining access to a room that was defended at all costs. There were few who could have achieved this. Thor was shaken.

While Odin had attended to the Casket of Ancient Winters, and reassured his sons, Syn had checked the guards for any sign of life as well as the remains of the Frost Giants. After confirming they were dead and she could do nothing for any of them, the turned her attention to the contents of the room. All appeared to be in order, the only item missing was the Tesseract. Syn had never laid eyes on that particular relic; Odin had hidden it away on Midguard the very day she was born. Her mind began racing with possibilities of how this break in had come to pass and why. Concentrating was difficult with Thor yelling for explanations from his father, and curiosity got the better of her when Odin obliged. At the far end of the room, she stood as quietly as Loki did and listened to the exchange. Odin calmly stated "I have a truce with Laufey, King of the Jotuns." Which only seemed to aggravate Thor and he raised his voice in incredulity "He just broke your truce! They know you are vulnerable." When Thor was prompted by Odin to elaborate what he would do, Syn listened as all her worst fears for Thor's rule were confirmed. He passionately advocated acts of revenge and war, just as he had since he was a child.

Odin patiently dealt with him and pointed out there was a breech in their defenses to be found, a personal failure which Syn felt deeply and she resumed contemplating how it had occurred. She was startled out of her thoughts when Odin's patience with Thor abruptly ran out and he exclaimed "But you're not King!" then clarified the declaration by adding softly "Not yet…"

Seeing her premonition had come to pass, Syn quickly took the opportunity to exit the room and allow the Prince to save face. She waited in the corridor to accompany Odin, as she was sure his next destination would be to consult with Heimdall. But when Odin emerged, one look at his face told her this probably wasn't a good idea. She paused in indecision as he strode away down the corridor and Loki approached her, his manner subdued. "I wouldn't if I were you. He might be best left alone for the time being." She nodded as she watched Odin stride away "Yes, you're probably right."

Loki smiled sympathetically at Syn, knowing she hadn't felt like such a disappointment since her last outing with him had gone terribly wrong. He knew how the torment of her use in the court and the tedium of her position as guardian wore on her gifted and inquisitive nature. He'd often been all that helped her hold onto her sanity as he used his gift for mischief to distract her from the duties her gifts entailed.

Syn was thinking of that night too. When things had gone too far; Loki had wanted to show her something he'd found, something very secret. It remained secret still, for they'd had a falling out before they'd reached it. She'd returned to the palace offended and angry, with Loki close behind, and both had been stunned to find all was in uproar. A servant explained there had been an attack in the palace, by a man that had entered under false pretenses and attempted the theft of the golden apples. Believing that Syn was on duty, the guard had been lax and the alarm was raised too late. Two Asgardians were now dead…and Odin was seeking Syn. He found her before she'd had time to fully absorb what was happening and they'd seemed rooted to the spot as the Allfather approached. Odin didn't say anything at first, just glared at her with an anger she'd rarely seen him display, much less directed at her. His eyes switched to Loki for a moment and his face darkened with understanding before coming back to rest on her. She'd bowed deeply and kept her eyes fixed on the floor at Odin's feet. "Leave us." He'd commanded everyone in the hall. Loki had stepped forward to speak up on her behalf "Father, I…" but Syn had reached out and caught his arm as he passed, making him stop beside her instead of before her. She raised her eyes just enough to meet his and subtly shook her head, letting him know his interference would only make matters worse at this point. He'd reached up to cover her fingers with his, but she'd withdrawn her hand at the touch. Odin was missing none of this; Loki nodded his understanding and bowed as he excused himself from their presence. Odin did not take his eyes from Syn's bowed head "You neglect your duties, betray my trust… to cavort with my son?" Syn remained still "My sincerest apologies, Allfather." He'd raised his voice "They are insufficient!" Syn had pressed her eyes shut and swallowed as she waited for him to continue "How are you to stand guardian of this palace if you do not treat your position with the gravity it deserves? Where would the nine realms be if Heimdall were to disregard his responsibility so carelessly as you do yours?"

Syn stood stoically and accepted further berating until his temper cooled. "I know that your heart is noble Syn. That is why I'm going to give you a chance to prove yourself worthy of your powers and of the trust placed in you. In future the guard will be notified to be on alert anytime you are not within the walls of this palace. You will perform your duties without distraction." Syn had nodded loyally until he'd given his last stipulation "and you will no longer spend your time with Loki." Syn had looked up to protest this, but something in Odin's eyes made her think better of it. Resigned, she nodded and returned her gaze to the floor as the Allfather turned and strode away. She'd fulfilled her duties faithfully since, and each passing day had left her a little more dead inside.

Odin slammed the door at the end of the corridor, pulling them both out of their thoughts. There was an old familiar energy crackling between her and Loki today, as if the high emotions they'd all been experiencing had lowered their barriers. She'd looked down, knowing she should be doing something about the mystery of the Jotuns, but completely unsure what that should be. "How did they get in Loki?" He drew a breath to answer but the luxury of being able to share her thoughts with him again had questions pouring from her. "And why? They knew there wasn't a chance that the three of them would be successful, that this would end in their deaths. Why would they risk their lives on such folly? How did they manage to hide from both Heimdall and from me?" His reply was heavy with ponder "I'm not entirely sure. Since Odin defeated them their kingdom has been in ruins and their people dispirited. Maybe they thought they could win back the glory of their world before it crumbles further…perhaps they were just desperate. Being on the verge of giving up hope can do that." Then he'd deliberately held her gaze and his voice was more sure and earnest "And they didn't manage to hide from you. You gave the warning just in time to prevent them from opening the casket." She'd dropped her eyes at this and somewhat petulantly replied "They should never have gotten that far." He'd placed his fingers under her chin and raised her face so that he could look her in the eyes again "You have ever held yourself to a higher standard than anyone else could hope to attain. Don't let one failure define you. You'll find the culprit and prevent it from happening again." He touched her hand before adding softly "I have faith in no one else, more so than you."

There was such sincerity in his eyes and comfort in his words, it had been long since she spoken to him like this, and she had missed his friendship profoundly. In the vulnerability of that moment, she made a choice and felt a chain reaction begin. She let her bigotry towards him slip. Let go of the witty retorts and aloofness she'd armored herself with, let herself remember the boy she'd cared so much for. Feelings she'd buried, out of fear, began to make themselves known, a piece of her soul that had thrived on time spent in his company, a part of her that she'd forced into dormancy leaving her with nothing but the cold comfort of her responsibilities. She hadn't realized just how dead inside she'd become until that part of her began to wake and feel alive again. She turned her hand over and laced her fingers with his.

Loki's eyes widened as he perceived the shift in her. Recognizing that this was his chance, he also dropped the stiffness they'd adopted with each other and leaned in closer, gripping her hand and drawing it to him. When she didn't pull away he continued "Since we are discussing the attempted theft of treasures, you should know that I have long wanted to apologize for my behavior that day Syn. A first kiss is an awkward thing to begin with, but I shouldn't have stolen it and overwhelmed you like that. To do so cheapened what we had between us." She knew he'd been waiting for an opportunity to make an apology, but wasn't sure how she would feel about it. "It was a long time ago, Loki it doesn't matter anymore." The sincerity in his eyes when he looked at her that way undid her as he continued his plea "It does matter, it matters because ever since then you have held the belief that I did what I did out of some spiteful desire to take advantage of you. When really I just…wanted you so badly. I was a nervous and clumsy fool and I scared you away, beyond my reach." She considered him for a moment, trying hard to be objective, to see past her strong desire to believe him, and found she did believe him completely.

She gave in to her instincts, deciding to take a chance on him, and asked softly "Can you swear to me that you will never again take advantage of me, in any way, Loki?" The sincerity of his reply was absolute "I swear it Syn. You have been a most painful lesson in life, a regret that I cannot abide. I know you too well; to take advantage of you would destroy you and be as blood on my hands, blood of one I love, above all others."

Both the prospect that he was sincere and the long dormant spirit he'd awakened within brought forth her reckless streak. She looked at her hand in his "I am not beyond your reach anymore…" She continued as she coyly raised her eyes to his "and you are no nervous and clumsy fool." Accustomed as he had become to the enforced distance between them, it seemed to take him a moment to realize the implication of her words before he seized the opportunity she was giving him. Then he reached up to stroke her cheek and gently inclined his mouth towards hers, stopping just shy of contact. She'd taken a deep breath and closed the gap, pressing her lips to his.

It was a kiss worth waiting for, a kiss with an air of fate about it, and she knew she could never fool herself into shunning him again, could never put the lid back on that box and feel dead inside without him. She was lost, with nothing standing between her principles and disgrace, except his vow not to use her, and she accepted it completely.

They were interrupted when Thor emerged from the vault and raged past them, seeing nothing but his own fury and taking it out on anything in his path. She and Loki were both still a bit shy and giddy as they held each other's eyes for a moment before Loki broke the spell "I better speak to him." Her playful nature now fully reawakened, she turned his earlier words back on him "I wouldn't if I were you. He might be best left alone for the time being." But she joined him as they followed Thor "Why he always believes flying off into a tantrum will solve his problems is beyond me, you'd think he would learn after all the bad landings its cost him." Loki turned back to her with enthused amusement and chuckled "There you are! I was afraid your more impish qualities were gone for good" he leaned in for another kiss "and they are some of my favorite virtues." He'd kissed her again briefly before he continued walking "You're probably right. But I trust his temper less than my father's." She smiled at him, inadvertently rooting him to the spot and rendering his attempt to address the situation useless as she prompted "You don't have to attend every argument he bids you to." Loki reasoned "If not for me, who else might he listen to? Especially when he's having a 'tantrum' as you put it. He has to be defused with shrewd caution." He kissed her again, but they were interrupted once more as the roars of Thor's tantrum echoed down the halls followed by a massive crash from the banquet room, Loki had given her one last quick kiss before hastening towards the commotion.

After watching him go, she'd passed Sif and the warriors three with a nod, on her way to see Heimdall. Volstagg looked particularly worried.

Chapter four

The Allfather's incensed voice had carried clearly to the Bifrost outside the door of the observatory, where Syn caught the last of their conversation as she approached. "To have both my son's in question, with sleep approaching? I won't have it Heimdall!" he shouted the last as an order "Find the culprit!"

Syn froze, 'both sons?' He suspected Loki of letting the Frost Giants in…

Syn's mind began to race. Though not commonly known, there were ways to sneak into Asgard. Frost giants however, would have required help. That last disastrous night with Loki, when the palace had been searching for her, even Heimdall had been unable to find her. Syn had suspected that, just as she was often unable to 'see' him in the palace, Loki had learned to hide himself from Heimdall. It may not have been Loki, and there was no proof that it was. But the timing… Thor's coronation had been interrupted. Much as she had not wanted it to take place, she knew of only one other person who felt the same way, one person would enjoy the mischief it would cause.

She had to admit Loki was suspect, but found it difficult to believe he would have gone to such lengths. That he could have potentially put the casket back in the hands of the Jotuns. It may have been merely a poor prank that got out of hand. Or he knew she and the destroyer would prevent disaster. The princes had been raised on stories at Odin's knee, expounding the Jotun's evils; Loki would not have considered their deaths of any importance. And if Syn had not been so distracted by the ceremony, she would have prevented the guards' deaths. If Loki was responsible, it had been a foolish prank, and nothing more.

Odin strode from the portal bridge over the Bifrost back to Asgard, but his wrath did not encourage attentiveness to his surroundings. She didn't exactly hide, but neither did she make her presence known as he passed. She watched him go, determined that he would not make her shut Loki out again; she would protect both the palace and Loki, even from himself.

After he'd gone she entered the observatory where Heimdall stood with his head bowed and his back to her. Though she'd not made her presence known, Heimdall spoke "What is it little Syn?" She smiled fondly at his back; he was one of the few she couldn't sneak up on. There'd long been a familiarity between them, a friendship Heimdall shared with few, beyond the bond born of their duties to Asgard. While Heimdall had sought his position, Syn's fate had been a forgone conclusion when her powers became known. She'd always looked up to Heimdall as a role model for carrying the burden of duty with grace and honor. "It seems we have a problem to solve Heimdall, someone who has made us both look like fools." He'd turned and attempted to smile reassuringly at her "You do not share the blame in this, little one, this is on my head." Unable to accept his reassurance she gazed out at the stars "Do I not guard the doorways of Asgard? Did they not find their way through the palace, to the very treasure room itself?" He'd interrupted her declaring with proud confidence "Where you did stop them Lady Syn, and would have judged their hearts and found their secrets had you been able. You did not fail… this one slipped my watch" he paused before adding grimly "and you know whom I suspect."

He'd known she'd overheard Odin "I do know whom you suspect, good Heimdall, but I cannot confirm or deny his innocence." She admitted grudgingly "He is outside my power." At this Heimdall had turned his intense scrutiny on her, as if trying to see through her "Though you are not outside his, it would seem." She knew enough of Heimdall to know when he was guessing, but his implications called her motives into question, something she was not used to. "We cannot assume guilt where there may be none, nor innocence where misguided actions may have occurred. He deserves the right to prove his guilt or innocence and be judged fairly." Heimdall scrutinized her as he asked "And if he proves guilty?" She considered it harshly before she decided on her reply "The sentence is not mine to pass. He is a Prince of Asgard, Heimdall. While the baker's child may steal a cake, and the stableman's child may founder a horse, a king's child makes mistakes on a much grander scale. But all find their punishment is in their father's hands." Suddenly eager to escape the protective concern in his eyes, Syn turned to leave the bridge; it was time to seek out Odin.

Chapter five

"Allfather?" Odin had looked up wearily as she entered and she was taken aback at how fatigued he looked. He'd been putting off the Odinsleep for too long this time. They needed a quick and simple solution to this chaos so that the arrangements could be made for his rest and defense. Why did Thor have to be such an arrogant and selfish child? This mess was all his doing, though he'd never see it. Even Frigga had worry in her eyes as she looked at her husband. Syn bowed "Allfather, I wish to apologize for the dereliction of my duties…" Odin interrupted her with a negligent wave of his hand "You fulfilled your duties Syn, the frost giants were stopped. Do not be so hard on yourself. You carry out your responsibilities admirably… perhaps too much so." Odin paused and studied her reflectively "Though there seems to be more lightness to you now, I think."

Feeling as if Odin sometimes turned her gifts back on her and read her heart, she bluntly changed the subject "Allfather I know that Heimdall suspects Loki" his smile disappeared and his manner became distinctly uneasy "and I cannot confirm or deny his suspicions" she caught the slight relaxation that hinted of relief, but continued "right now I fear Thor is the more urgent issue." He nodded in concurrence, in the time since Syn had fully committed herself to her duties, Odin had come to appreciate, not just her gifts, but her mind on the rare occasion that she spoke it "He is too full of himself, too eager to prove himself, and I fear he will bring greater folly if he is not reined in. I know you hoped to see him on the Throne first and have not made arrangements for the Odinsleep as has been done in the past, but preparations must be made, before it's too late." Odin smiled indulgently at her and Frigga placed a hand on her husband's shoulder. She'd been unable to deny Syn's words about Thor, but she wholly advocated her concern for Odin. Odin indulged them "and how do you think I should address this crisis, just and observant Syn?" Though she knew he was humoring her, she gave her honest answer "Thor needs to be curbed somehow till you awaken, perhaps with the Queen's guidance." She saw in his eye that he was already grappling with this truth, before she'd spoken it, but his response was unexpected "and what of Loki?" he paused a moment as his demeanor became more prying then pacifying "who will keep him out of trouble?" instinct told her there was a game being played here, but there was also deep disquiet and genuine entreaty in the Allfather "will you watch over him?"

Syn was unsure whether this was meant as encouragement or caution and was weighing her response when the doors burst open "I must have audience, it cannot wait any longer!" a guard called out behind him as he approached Odin, marching with a pompously important strut till the immediacy of Odin overcame the importance of his errand and he hesitated in awe. Then he clumsily knelt and stated in a halting voice fraught with nerves "I bear an urgent message from Prince Loki, Allfather." His hesitancy in relaying the message after stating its importance was infuriating and he was intelligent enough to see the irritation he was causing reflected in the faces of his audience and so blurted out "To tell you Thor makes for Jotunheim with his brother, Lady Sif, and the warriors three."

Incredulous, Odin turned to Syn for validation, "Would Heimdall allow them to pass?" Syn, reluctant, yet honest replied "Heimdall wants answers as much as his Prince." She knew Heimdall would have done as Thor wanted, just as Thor's companions had done by loyally following him into trouble, they could not watch him go unaided. Loki's silvertongue was not always successful against Thor's obstinacy. Odin stood up and called for Sleipnir to be saddled. Frigga called out to him as he strode to the doors "Take Syn with you. You may have need of her protection." Odin had turned to Syn and regarded her appraisingly; weighing the toll using her magic would take on her, against the possible catastrophes that could arise in his fatigued state. Her willingness was evident, so he'd inclined his head to his queen, "Very well." Syn followed him as he strode from the room.

Chapter six

Speed was essential, so she'd ridden behind Odin on Sleipnir till they reached the observatory, and then dismounted, knowing he would want to make an entrance. Heimdall had looked chagrined at having his assistance exposed, but had not attempted to excuse his actions. His sense of dishonor was only evident in that he would not meet Syn's eyes. Odin had wasted no time berating him, only harshly ordered the bridge opened. Syn had long ago tired of traveling the Bifrost, but it was much less draining then using her magic would be, and if Thor had managed to incite war with the Jotuns, she would need her strength. She methodically pinned her hair back while she waited, restraining it from impeding her sight during what might be to come.

Her worst fears were confirmed as they landed, an army of Jotun's was descending on the small party. They'd stopped in awe at the appearance of Odin as Sleipnir reared, but his arrival brought no relief to the frightened faces of Loki and the warriors. Thor brayed obliviously for his father to join them "Father, will finish them! Together!" Odin had replied with an icy "silence!'" and Syn had stepped back out of sight when Laufey ascended to hold conference with Odin.

She looked over the Asgardians to assure herself that they were not grievously injured, meeting Loki's eyes briefly. She was struck by the turmoil within them, but had no chance to contemplate it as Laufey immediately brought her attention back to him with his opening words "Allfather… you look weary" his voice was as calculating as his observations were astute, making his intentions plain to her even without her gifts; he was going to take advantage of the situation. Odin would not be able to pacify them, they would attack. She ignored the rest of the exchange as she studied the positions of friend and foe while she readied to buy them time and distance for escape.

She quietly began drawing her power, like smoky tendrils from her fingertips as she pulled her undulating fingers across the air before her chest, then turned her open palm to the wisps and called them back to her now still hand, slowly enclosing her fingers around it, caging the vaporous spell in her hand until she was ready to unleash it. Just a small amount, as she knew Odin still hoped for a peaceful resolution, or he would have turned Gungnir on them. Even when she saw the dagger in Laufey's hand she dutifully waited for Odin's word, which was quickly given and she'd reacted, concentrating on Laufey but also blasting back all the Jotun's nearby as Odin drew their party to them and opened the Bifrost with Gungnir.

Chapter seven

Once back in the observatory, Syn felt the price of her powers. Extreme exhaustion, debilitating like a sickness the mortals suffered. She hadn't used much power so she quickly suppressed the effects and looked round to ascertain the condition of the others. Fandral was the worst off, but his injuries were not so life threatening that they required her intervention, he needed the Eir. They were all lucky to have escaped with their lives.

Loki reached out to her and caught her chin in his fingertips, gently turning her face looking for signs of fatigue, and faintly smiled with relief that she was so little affected by her efforts. Loki pulled the pin from her hair and watched it fall around her shoulders as the tension of combat drained from them both. Her contentment at their safety was short lived as she thought about the reason their lives had been in danger in the first place. Thor, the one person they should have been able to rely on to keep the realms stable with the Odinsleep looming, had instead brought them to the brink of war.

Thor was, incredibly, bickering with his father about not finishing off the Jotun's rather than showing any regret for his actions. Syn stood in mute incredulity until Odin barked his dismissal at them "Get him to the healing room!" As Sif, Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg left Syn was torn between giving the family privacy and her worry for Odin in his weakened state, the very air of the observatory was volatilely charged with strife. She followed Thor's companions and Heimdall to the doors, but her apprehension made her turn back to Loki. He'd held her gaze briefly, and attempted a reassuring look, before it was smothered by unease. He took a deep breath and looked back to his father and brother. She'd compromised, leaving the room, but only to wait just outside the doorway in case she was needed. Things had gone much too far, the backlash would be severe.

Just as she was contemplating this, the backlash broke; Odin began shouting at Thor that he was a "vain, greedy, cruel boy!" Thor crossed the line completely then, yelling back "And you are an old man and a fool!" Syn cast her eyes down at this resignedly, her counsel to Odin had come to pass, the lesson could wait no longer, though the timing and circumstances were unfortunate.

Odin was crushed, forced to accept what he'd not wanted to see. He acknowledged the charge with dangerous calm "Yes, I was a fool. To think you were ready." Sensing the oncoming storm, Loki stepped forward to implore his father but Odin angrily silenced him with a look and a guttural command. Though the harsh dismissal stung him, Loki complied, and Syn's heart hurt for him. She suspected Odin's response stemmed from more than just anger at Loki's complaisance in the ill-conceived excursion. She feared that Odin resented Loki for being the catalyst of the events that had led them here.

Conflict began to rise within her, she was loyal and obeyed her King, but felt Loki was being done an injustice by this treatment. That he was guilty of complaisance was excusable, he was standing by his brother's wishes and had sent word to his father of their misguided escapade. There was, however, no proof he had let the frost giants in. She played devil's advocate with herself, if Loki had let the frost giants in to create trouble, they needed to know what weakness he'd exploited, and punishment was deserved. But he'd also done Asgard a service. Thor's faults needed to come to light and be addressed, _before_ he was crowned king. Loki could not have foreseen this, Thor made his own path.

The observatory had gone quiet, but the tension escalated when Odin's voice become grave, addressing Thor formally. Syn was suddenly struck with the realization of what was coming, and overwhelmed by the depth of Odin's chosen punishment. He was going to depose his own son? Thor needed to rid himself of his hubris, but banishment! She and Loki stood in stunned silence as Odin listed Thor's crimes and used Gungnir to activate the bridge. His voice rose as he removed Thor's regalia and declared him unworthy as Loki looked on in misery. Syn warred with herself, there had to be a better way for Thor, but also knew she had to trust in the Allfather's wisdom.

They watched in helpless distress as, in the name of his fathers, Odin stripped Thor of his powers and declared "I cast you out!" striking Thor with a bolt from Mjolnir, which blew him backwards into the Bifrost portal. Syn stood in shock as Loki walked toward the portal, as if hoping for some sign of his brother. She calmed some when she saw Odin whispering something to Mjolnir and she felt the spell in the air as the binding symbol of the valknut appeared on its side before he hurled it after Thor. He was giving his son a chance after all, though how much of one, she wasn't sure. Odin's judgment was just, but often cold and harsh. The look Loki turned on him was wary with disheartened anger as he watched a father who had turned out his own child.

Odin deactivated the portal, his eyes remained downcast and his shoulders slumped with more than just weariness. Loki marched from the room without a word, but he stopped short just beyond the threshold when he saw Syn there. He met her eyes for a moment, realizing she'd seen the whole thing, then sighed and looked down at her hands as he took them in his. He kept his voice low "I'll walk you back, My lady." Again that possessive inflection on 'my' that he'd begun to address her with. As he offered her his arm she'd stolen another quick glance at Odin, but he had not moved and solitude seemed to suite his current state. She took Loki's arm and began the long walk over the Bifrost with him.

Chapter eight

After many strides spent in silence he finally remarked "The spell with the Jotuns doesn't seem to have done you much harm, you look much less drained then I would have believed." She smiled at him, recognizing his desire for distraction while he let other thoughts brew in the back of his mind "Is that your way of telling me I don't look appallingly like the walking dead?" the corners of his mouth lifted, but the smile never truly materialized. Their thoughts turned back to her early grueling attempts at magic, before strength and experience had taken the edge off its effects on her. "It's been a while since I've done anything taxing, and it didn't require much."

They'd walked little further when Loki gave up his private attempts to understand his father's actions towards his formerly favored child "Why would he do it? Banish him?" She knew he was asking for her own thoughts, not insight from the keeper of secrets. Unsure how much she could say to him without answering as both, she settled for something neutral "Thor has much to learn." He looked at her sharply, her response had created more questions than it answered, but he hadn't pushed her further. Instead he began to stare at the ground, lost in contemplation. Syn was content to leave him to his thoughts, and avoid her own questions.

His pace slowed as they approached the palace gates and he reluctantly declared "I can't abide the prospect of returning home, not tonight." Her smile was sympathetic; no one wanted to confront a family in upheaval "Would not your mother find comfort in your presence when she hears of this?" When he didn't respond she realized he had stopped walking a few paces back. She turned to find him contemplating his hand, as if it belonged to someone else. When he answered, his voice had taken on a hushed and faraway quality "No, I think not." This brought Syn up short for a moment before she sputtered in disbelief "Of course she will Loki. Thor is mortal now; she's effectively lost a son, perhaps forever. There is no one else here now as beloved by her as you are. She will be angry with your father; she will need to share her grief with you." He avoided her eyes and she began to get the feeling that something was very much wrong. She dropped her voice to nearly a whisper "What happened in Jotunheim Loki?" His face was pained as he murmured "I'm not sure…I'm not sure about anything anymore." The feel of dark premonition increased and she covered the hand he was so preoccupied with in hers, prompting him to raise his eyes and focus on her instead. "We don't have to go back right away. It will be some time before the queen learns what has occurred and it has been an appallingly eventful day, one incident rolling into another. Let us catch our breath for a bit… I could use a drink." She cocked an eyebrow at him devilishly and won a hesitant smile from him.

She picked the first tavern they came to and tugged him inside. There was a hush when the revelers realized they were joined by royalty, but their new guests' unassuming demeanor encouraged it to pass quickly. He led her to a more private table near the back and they ordered drinks and talked. Nothing of importance was discussed; it was just the two of them and their own amusements, funny stories, and memories. Syn was thoroughly enjoying the smile she'd coaxed from him, when he asked "Do you remember when they used to make you and Sif sparring partners?" She knew where this story was going, though not many people had heard about it "Oh, she hated that, always wanted to be up against the boys. Thought fighting another girl wouldn't prove her skills to anyone." He'd started to laugh, impeding his ability to get the words out "Always thought you weren't enough of a challenge, till she tried to play you for a fool while your back was turned. It was the first time anyone on the training field had ever seen you truly angry. Knocked her flat on her backside, she couldn't spar for days." They were both laughing when she added "I'm not sure she's ever forgiven me for that, she certainly never sparred with me again." Syn hadn't minded Sif's avoidance; she'd preferred to train with Hogun and Loki anyway. Sif's fiery nature, in contrast to Syn's cooler one, lent their friendship a certain tempestuousness, though she bore her no ill will. Their paths had been too different for her to ever begrudge Sif the attention and position she'd earned, and she could hardly fault Sif's devotion to Thor when she'd felt much the same about Loki. Syn changed the subject to past hijinks she knew would keep the smile on his face a while longer.

They'd continued on like that until the darkness outside the open door caught Syn's attention. It had gotten late and she was worried about Odin and Frigga, the guard would be depending on her to take the watch soon, and the new trouble with the Jotuns would increase their reliance on her. Loki had caught her eyeing the door "We don't have to leave just yet. Our problems will all still be waiting for us, whenever we decide to go back. Let them wait a while longer." But the spell was broken and he knew it. She'd been about to say as much when he'd quietly interrupted her "I know. You don't have to say it, I know." Instead of standing up, he was suddenly leaning into her, wrapping his fingers in her hair at the base of her neck. He dragged out the moment, reading her eyes while their breath mingled, before he slowly leaned in and kissed her. A kiss he'd begun with intense tenderness and had gradually lost control of until it had become deeply passionate. They were eventually brought back to their surroundings by a rowdy table that had spontaneously broken into raucous laughter over some bawdy jest. They'd looked slightly dazed at each other for a moment before Loki realized the neckline of her dress had been pulled down, exposing her shoulder. He leaned in and gently kissed the bare skin before recovering it, smiling naughtily at her. Her breath hitched in her throat at that smile. Maybe they didn't have to go back…

Chapter nine

The closer they got to the palace, the slower Loki seemed to be walking. Finally Syn called him on it "Is it really so bad, Loki?" He'd played innocent "is what so bad?" she laughed at the attempt "your practically dragging your feet." He smiled self-consciously at said feet for a moment before taking a deep breath, and looking up at her. All humor had gone from him "I have questions that need answering, and I'm afraid they will not be answers I want to hear." It took her a moment to catch up to the sudden change in his demeanor, and she hadn't been able to do much more than look at him with concern before he kissed her hand and resolutely walked away.

She was accustomed to his unpredictable turns of mood, but as she watched him go the feeling of foreboding returned. She had to take a different entrance to notify the guard she was resuming her duties. Once she was sure the royal family had finished their private interactions on the matter of Thor's banishment, she checked on Frigga. The Queen had been sad, yet resolute after her confrontation with Odin, but Syn could sense the anger underneath her resolve. Loki was no longer with his mother, and Syn thought maybe he'd gone to check on Fandral. Frigga had been grateful for Syn's words of comfort, but had dismissed her attendants early that evening with orders that she was not to be disturbed. Syn checked on Odin, as he paced and stared out of windows. His anger was keeping him going but she was sure that sleep would get the better of him soon. She took a chance and spoke up "Allfather, have you made your wishes known?" She'd startled him, not just out of his thoughts, but with the realization that he had not made preparations for the now long overdue Odinsleep. He rubbed his brow a moment before muttering "The line of succession ..." he hesitated before abruptly changing subjects "I want your full protection while I sleep, while I am vulnerable Syn. Can you ensure that?"

He turned to her when he received no response, and found her eyes wide with distress, intensely focused yet far away. When she refocused on his face, she blinked with astonishment to find herself raising, a truly rare alarm, twice in one day. "Someone is in the vault." She returned her gaze inward, she did not normally need to focus this hard to identify an intruder. Just as Odin began to summon the destroyer, she realized why it eluded her, and interrupted him almost frantically, holding her hands up in entreaty "No! Its…" her eyes were full of questions as she brought them back to Odin's, her words little more than breath "Its Loki?" Contrary to her own reaction, there was no surprise in the old man at her revelation, only a wretched sort of resoluteness as he walked past her. She'd followed with his Einherjar guards.

Odin threw the doors of the vault open and strode inside. Syn stopped in the doorway, catching sight of Loki with his back to them at the far end of the vault… holding the casket of ancient winters. She was taken aback for a moment before she remembered her place and then quickly closed the doors to give them privacy. Odin shouted from within "Stop!"

She stood there still holding onto the closed doors, stunned. The cold of holding the casket should have rendered Loki frozen where he stood. She suddenly thought of his behavior after Jotunheim, his preoccupation with his hand, and cold dread began to uncurl deep in her stomach.

She heard his voice from within the vault, shaking with emotion as he asked Odin "am I cursed?" Odin's reply was calm but reluctant "No." Loki's next question was more of demand "What am I?" and she heard the soft thud of the casket being set back upon its pedestal. Telling her the truth before Loki could coax it from Odin "you're my son." She slid her hand up the door, longing to ease the revelation she now knew was coming. Frost Giant. How was this possible? She withdrew her hand and covered her mouth in denial as it all came together in her head. Loki's tolerance for his father's evasion was fading quickly "what more than that?" Never more than a few beats behind her, and often ahead, Syn heard him become slightly more collected as he put it all together "The casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" followed by another succinct "No" from Odin. She thought this might be all he was going to give Loki, but then he conceded and began his tale.

"In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son." Syn sucked in a breath and turned to lean back against the doorway for support as she heard Loki, already reeling, trying to absorb this, repeating the words of his father, though they deemed him to be, not his son after all, but the offspring of a hated enemy, a race he'd been raised to see as monstrous by Odin's accounts "Laufey's son?" Odin's reply was a simple but weary "yes." She heard Loki's tortured breaths as he fought for understanding "Why? You were knee deep in Jotun blood, why would you take me?" There was evasion in Odin's voice when he responded "You were an innocent child." Knowing Odin, she didn't believe this justification any more then Loki did when he retorted "No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?"

There was a long pause in which she feared Odin would refuse to say anymore, and contradictorily feared that he would. Suddenly Loki, his voice full of desperation and pain, cried out "Tell me!" making Syn clench both her hands and eyes shut in empathetic agony. Odin obliged and laid it all bare "I thought that we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace, though you." This open admission of a calculated purpose behind Odin's 'compassion' was followed by Loki's broken and gasping disbelief "What?" Dread of how these words could twist Loki's heart caused Syn to cover her head as she slid down the doorframe to sit on the floor, feeling very small and useless as Odin finished "but those plans no longer matter."

Loki was grasping for understanding now and, feeling used, he was finding connections in all the worst places. "So I am no more than another stolen relic. Locked up, here, until you might have use of me." Hot tears began to flood Syn's eyes and Odin interrupted with a feeble "Why do you twist my words?" as Loki continued imploringly "You could have told me what I was from the beginning, why didn't you?" Odin's reply seemed sincere "Your my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth." Loki was becoming increasingly frantic "What because, because I-I-I am the monster who parents tell their children about at night?"

Syn tipped her head back against the doors and the scalding tears slid down her face. She wanted to stop the exchange, to make it all go away. Instead she sat in helpless silence as they continued. Odin's attempts to reason with Loki became feebler as Loki's sense of betrayal made his anger and his voice grow in strength. "You know it all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years." He was yelling now, his voice venomous with Odin's deceits "Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

The room had gone suddenly silent, and Syn held her breath listening. A moment later Loki called out "Guards!" and she realized the reason for the lull. The Odinsleep had taken hold. She was jumping to her feet and motioning the Einherjar guards from their posts to her as she heard a much more vulnerable Loki cry out again "Guards, please help!" She threw the doors open and the guards rushed past her to the Allfather, lying prone on the stairs with Loki at his side. He scrambled back out of the way as the Einherjar stepped in to carry the Allfather to the chamber he passed the Odinsleep in. Loki followed them up the steps but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Syn standing at the top of the stairs. She'd made an effort to dry her tears, but the evidence of them was still apparent.

Chapter ten

He climbed the rest of the steps and stood before her "You heard everything?" She nodded and began to apologize but he cut her off "No if there had to be a guard at the door, I'm glad it was you." Something inside him had broken, she could see it. Despite his words of approval, she could feel the darkness coming, and it did so quickly, as his tone changed to bitter mocking "at least I know my revolting little secret is safe with you, isn't it Syn. You'll take it to your grave. And all the while I will look upon you and see the loathing in your lovely eyes, because we'll both know what you're looking back at."

He'd begun to stride past her in dismissal when she'd surprised him by raising her voice in cold authority "I know whom I look upon. You have been and will always be Prince Loki of Asgard and you will address me as such!" Fearing how much she might give away to the guards, he turned and strode back to her. She continued in a lower voice "Do not try to convince yourself that you are something which you are not. Pain and madness lie down that path." She could see his dismissal coming and continued "I will never see you as anything but my Loki. You would do well to content yourself with the same my love."

The endearment seemed to break the wall he was building, and his eyes were suddenly bright with tears, his voice was shaky and vulnerable again "But it is a lie, Syn, I am a lie." She reached up and stroked his cheek, catching a tear as it descended "It's only a lie if you make it one. No matter where you began life, you were raised Loki of Asgard, you are a part of a family that loves you; your place is here, with me. We are who we choose to be. That is your truth, the rest doesn't matter." He'd reached out and taken her face in his hands, closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers when she finished speaking, as if he could physically draw strength from her faith in him.

But he was unable to escape his self-loathing "You'd be better off without me Syn, I don't deserve you." She tried to dispel the darkness and shift the mood away from his melancholy by lacing her reply with sarcasm "Of course you don't but what's done is done" she almost won a slight smile from him before she switched back to sincerity "I love you, and you'll never be able to make me regret that" she pressed her mouth to his and proved her point.

It was a tender kiss, meant to make him see that she was anything but repulsed by him, and it worked. She felt him slowly begin to thaw. He dropped his hand to her waist and pulled her against him, hugging her close as she wrapped her arms around his neck. The embrace was interrupted by the sound of tromping feet as more guards hurried to assist the Allfather. There was still great sadness in his eyes, but the crushing aura he'd carried when he'd believed himself alone and untenable seemed to have eased.

The rushing guards had brought her thoughts back to her responsibilities and she recognized she had another problem. Odin had asked her to watch over Loki, but earlier he'd appointed her his keeper during the Odin sleep. How was she to do both?

"Loki, your father charged me with his protection while he is vulnerable; I have to go see to his defenses and stand watch… will you be alright?" She watched as resentment crept into his sad eyes and his voice became slightly hollow as he looked away and replied "yes." Afraid she'd just undone all her efforts to reassure him, she took his chin and forced him to look her in the eyes "Never believe yourself to be alone Loki. I will always be here for you." His eyes darkened as he responded with a touch of malice "Yes, diligently fulfilling your duties at Odin's side." He removed her hand from his face as his voice became full blown bitterness "Apparently you will always be there when he needs you as well." He walked away and she let him go. He spoke the truth, but his anger was frustration at the slavish way she fulfilled duties she took little pleasure in. Maybe it was better for him to be angry at her then lost in self-loathing.

Chapter eleven

She'd entered Odin's chamber after setting the Einherjar guard and found Frigga hovering tenderly, worrying over his comfort. She maternally pounced on Syn the moment she saw her "What happened Syn? We were so unprepared, did he say anything?" Syn felt completely uncertain how to face this. "He did say he wanted me to oversee the guard." Relief filled Frigga's face as she grasped Syn's arm in a communication of gratitude Syn did not feel worthy of "and he mentioned the line of succession before we were interrupted." The sense of relief fled Frigga "What could possibly be important enough to interrupt him if he was issuing final instructions?" seeing Syn's hesitation to answer she steeled herself "What other horrors have emerged today?" Syn was loath to be the bearer of these tidings "The Odinsleep stuck while… Loki was questioning his true parentage and the circumstances of his… adoption." Frigga's face fell, misery and tears brimming in her eyes "how much does he know?" the answering tears that welled in Syn's own eyes told Frigga enough and she turned away as Syn reluctantly whispered "he was shattered by the revelation, and feels betrayed by the circumstances." Frigga turned her eyes on her sleeping husband, "then I may have lost both my sons today." Syn held Frigga's hand to offer comfort, but did not contradict her.

When Frigga collected herself she left briefly, Syn assumed she'd needed some privacy and continued with the final measures of the watch, casting the veil over him while the Ravens, Hugin and Munin stood sentry on their perches. Frigga returned shortly before Loki came to check on his father, just as the room was shuttered. Frigga handled him with great compassion, but Loki was unsure and distant. He briefly met Syn's eyes where she stood watch behind the head of Odin's bed, before hesitantly going to sit at his father's other side, across from his mother. Syn retreated a few steps, to give them privacy.

They sat quietly for a few moments before Frigga felt she needed to explain "I asked him to be honest with you from the beginning. There should be no secrets in a family." Loki had armored himself with resentment, and for a moment Syn wasn't sure he was going to respond, but then he asked resolutely "So why did he lie?" Seeing that he wasn't going to shut them out completely, Frigga answered compassionately "He kept the truth from you so that you would never feel different. You are our son Loki, and we your family." Loki remained unsure, stoic but not unhearing as she continued "You must know that?"

He softened slightly as he tried to take this in and lowered his eyes to his sleeping father. His mother continued encouragingly, "You can speak to him. He can see and hear us even now." Loki changed the subject "How long will it last?" Frigga's compassion changed to worry "I don't know. This time it's different, and we were unprepared." Concern began to show on Loki's face as he contemplated his father "I never get used to seeing him like this. The most powerful being in the nine realms, lying helpless until his body is restored." Frigga reached forward and took Odin's prone hand in hers "He's put it off for so long now, that I fear."

Shaking off her apprehension and returning her attention back to Loki she said gently. "You're a good son. We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us…and your brother." The mention of his brother brought him briefly out of his ambivalence and Syn watched many emotions flicker across his face; a glint of incredulity flashing in his eyes before he tipped his chin up with skepticism, then unease as he leaned in and asked "What hope is there for Thor?" Frigga reassured "There is always a purpose to everything your father does. Thor may yet find a way home." Loki seemed further troubled by this and lowered his head, lost in thought for a moment, before he rose and silently sought his mother's leave.

As he crossed the chamber the doors suddenly opened, startling him from his thoughts. He looked up to find the Einherjar guard assembled in the doorway. Syn crossed quickly to the front of the room to stand nearer the doors, unsure what was happening. Loki regarded the Einherjar warily before they saluted and bowed, baffling them both. Syn was somewhat reassured that there was no surprise on Frigga's face, but was still tentative. Then the keeper of Gungmir entered the room with ceremonially pomp, the spear in his hands, and knelt at Loki's feet. Loki looked down at him for a moment before he understood the significance of what was happening and for an instant his face crumpled in humble astonishment. He turned to his mother for confirmation, as did Syn.

Frigga spoke formally "Thor is banished. The line of succession falls to you." Loki watched her with trepidation, as if afraid to believe he was being handed the throne. "Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours." He turned hesitantly back to the spear and Syn watched his face carefully, afraid of what she would see there. Though she loved Loki and understood why Frigga was doing this, so much power put into the hands of a broken man, before he'd had a chance to heal, was courting disaster.

He'd been tentative at first but then accepted the spear reverently; seeming to grow taller the moment it was in his hands. He turned back to Frigga and she smiled "Make your father proud, my King." He held the spear, obviously liking the feel of it in his hands, and his gaze upon it slowly changed to haughty possessiveness, and something sinister that made Syn's heart sink with foreboding. Loki acknowledged his mother's bequeathal and then left the room, while Syn threw Frigga a look of disapproval and followed him.

Chapter twelve

"Loki!" he turned back to her but was completely preoccupied, his head spinning with contemplations. He spoke before she could "I really believed I would never see this day, the day that I would have the throne, not Thor!" she didn't like the zealous authority that filled his voice. She'd always wondered what kind of king Loki could be if he could ever get out of his brother's shadow. Now she feared she would never really know. This was not the Loki she'd grown up with; this was a broken version of him that was getting drunk on power when he needed time and healing. Something told her if she betrayed those thoughts to him right now, he might turn his back on her.

She belatedly realized he'd been waiting for her congratulations and was now studying her closely. She stepped closer and spoke low so no one would overhear her "I, too, thought I might never address you as my King. But I hope you remember that it is only for a day, or little more, that I do so. This arrangement is temporary. Even if Odin does not wake up, you know he sent Mjolnir after Thor. I believe your mother is right, his banishment is temporary, intended only to teach him a lesson. When he proves himself worthy and returns, what then?" The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk "You mean if." She looked him dead in the eye when she responded "I know Thor's heart, Loki. I mean when." The smirk faded and he looked as if he was going to be angry with her before he lowered his head and took a deep breath, calming himself. When he met her eyes again he surprised her by capturing her chin in his fingers and kissing her briefly "Let us wait and see what time brings." He released her with a cocky smile and a swirl of cloak as he turned and continued down the hall with his guards.

Syn stepped back into Odin's chamber seething with frustration. She watched Frigga speaking softly to her husband and decided it was probably best that she kept her mouth shut till she could calm down. She resumed the watch, and found herself with nothing to do but worry about Loki. Her position as Odin's defender meant that all events eventually came to her attention through the guard. They'd reported to her that the warriors three had come to see the King earlier and ask that he lift Thor's banishment. Apparently it had not gone well and Lady Sif had been restrained to prevent her speaking out against Loki. Syn left the guard with Frigga and sought Loki out, but he was nowhere to be found. She checked every place she could think of that he might be, and was troubled when she found no sign of him, cursing her inability to see him as she could others. She couldn't neglect her duties any longer and returned to Odin.

Standing watch drove her mad. She'd kept her post faithfully but she didn't have the temperament for it and had grown near frantic with boredom. Knowing the importance of her duties, she felt terribly guilty that she wasn't always as vigilant as she should be; she often slipped into her own thoughts so deeply that she was nearly unconscious of her environment. So her relief was almost painful when a guard brought news of Loki. The King summoned her to dine with him. She looked to Frigga who'd smiled sweetly and encouraged her to go "I'll keep watch."

Chapter thirteen

When she arrived Loki had set himself up in grand splendor. Unsure how to handle him, she'd begun a formal bow but he seemed distinctly uncomfortable with it and had subtly shaken his head. Surprised by his rejection of the gesture and even less uncertain how to behave now, she hesitated a moment before he offered her the strained smile he had taken on since learning his true parentage. He held out her chair for her and she'd sat down, assessing his mood as he walked around her to sit at the head of the table. He surprised her when he said nonchalantly "How goes the watch? Anything interesting?" she regarded him coolly for a moment before deciding he was jesting and then offered him a smile, which was welcomed by his easy laughter, though briefly given. He sobered quickly and said with apparent concern "How is father?" She looked down at her own plate before responding flatly "The same."

He contemplated her for a moment before suddenly declaring to the Einherjar "Guards! You're dismissed." At their hesitation he'd taunted them good-naturedly "You don't think you'll need to defend your King from the Lady Syn, do you?" they relaxed and some even smiled as they filed out of the room. Loki continued to address them in a lower voice, meant only for her ears "She could finish you all off with a wave of her hand anyway." It was said with charm and meant to be a compliment, but she found no pleasure in it, in fact it set her on edge. She'd given up all pretense of eating.

Disgruntled by her withdrawn behavior he watched her for a moment before quietly saying "I wish you could be happy for me Syn, I don't understand why you are not." She tried very hard to hide her exasperation "I'm happy for you Loki, but I'm worried about you. Too much has happened in the last few days. You've lost the foundations of who you are…." He'd cut her off with self-assurance "and gained everything I ever wanted." She met his eyes "Is it? Is it everything you ever wanted?" He returned her frank gaze, considering. "Your right, something is missing" and leaned in to kiss her. She turned her face just enough to discourage him and he'd closed his eyes and dropped his head in frustration before leaning back to look at her. She kept her eyes on the table as she quietly reproached him "I guess I don't know you as well as I thought I did because I don't believe you ever wanted to lose your brother, face losing your father, and risk breaking your mother's heart. All for a throne."

She turned her eyes back to him and found him smiling dangerously at her. She recognized that look and braced herself, he was about to turn the tables on her. "It's a pretty speech Syn, truly it is. But tell me this…did you choose to spend your life serving in the palace? Your gifts are an accident of your birth and yet they define you. You might have more power than any of us, and yet you are prohibited from using it. You let them lock you up in this place and use you, just as they did to me, only you knew you were being used. They tell you what to do and you do it, you never stand up for yourself, you never fight back, you never pursue what you want." His words struck home and she admitted it "Your right, guarding rooms and passing judgment is not how I want to spend my life. But safeguarding the innocent is my duty Loki."

He watched her thoughtfully for a moment "You make it sound as if I've betrayed all who love me. What of your heart Syn. Is it too at risk?" Unable to meet his eyes, she turned her face down and away before replying softly "No."

Desperation overcame him as he reached for her and grabbed her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him as he pleaded "Don't shut me out Syn. Please don't shut me out again, I couldn't bear it." She stared up into his beautiful eyes and saw frantic pain there "I need you. Not because of your abilities, but because I feel like myself when I'm with you, like I matter. You were my closest friend, you stood up for me, you made me feel worthwhile when no one else did. With you I can still feel a little thread of who I was when everything made sense. Before the world became secrets and lies. Before I found out that I'm a monster even Laufey didn't want. Before I found out that…that I wasn't really worthwhile after all." Her eyes had filled with tears by the time he finished, and he released her. She addressed him as calmly as she could manage "my heart isn't at risk because it is yours, I gave it to you, and it shall remain with you for as long as we exist. It can only be broken if you desire to break it."

He'd stayed stock-still, as if he couldn't absorb what she'd said so she continued "I know you, the real you, better than anyone, even yourself. I've kept your secrets; I know your faults, your flaws, your burdens. And I accept them, I accept you, just as you are, and I ask for nothing in return but your love and respect. Because you know me, you know me better than anyone. You are a part of me, no matter where you came from, no matter what plans anyone had for you. What we have between us cannot be spoiled by that, unless you allow it."

He was standing over her now and he looked fragile in a way she'd never before seen him. He reached down to her and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck as she held him. She could feel him trying to control his breathing. When he calmed he released her just enough to look at her. She stood with her hands on his chest as he marveled at her for a moment before breaking into an irresistibly sweet smile and she caught a glimpse of the boy she loved. If only she could keep him that way. Wanting to hold onto the moment she kissed him passionately. When they came up for air, he realized the sleeve of her gown had slipped once again leaving her shoulder bare. He kissed the exposed skin and seemed on the verge of pulling the clothe back onto her shoulder, but he paused a moment, meeting her eyes with a flash of mischief and smiling wickedly before he tugged the material further down and continued to kiss her skin.

Chapter fourteen

The next few hours were a blur of magic in his arms. Later they were lying in bed touching, caressing, talking and her curiosity got the better of her. "How did you know?" He tilted his head in inquiry, prompting her to elaborate "When you came back from Jotunheim, you knew. How?" He looked at her with fresh curiosity "You could you see that?" she nodded and laced her fingers with his by way of explanation. He smirked and grunted his understanding of what had tipped her off, but distaste colored his voice when he answered "The frost giants freeze your skin if they touch you, with me it just cracks the Aesir visage the Allfather bestowed upon me and brings out their coloring." Curiosity got the better of her and she made her hand freezing cold, watching his skin go blue for a moment before it returned to its usual coloring. The trick had him shaking off her hand, prompting her to apologize affectionately "I'm sorry. I just wanted to see it." He wasn't upset with her, but she had unsettled him. She wasn't ready to give up the topic yet "How do you intend to handle the Jotuns?" This did visibly irk him and she tempered the question "I'm not saying to reveal your heritage, but you may be able to restore peace by helping them rebuild themselves into something more than the warmongers they've become." His manner had gone cold and he'd sat up and turned his back to her as if he were going to leave the bed. There was suddenly an edge of hostility in his words "You speak truth, they are warmongers. A race of barbarians the nine realms would be better off without. I won't help Laufey. He should pay for what he did." Always challenging him she responded "and after that, what? They suffer without a leader and flounder out of existence?" His reply was menacing "They deserve it."

"Loki, I know your angry but" she'd been reaching for his back when he turned with sudden urgency and grabbed her hand "Syn if this is going to work we need to form a pact right now." The significance of what he was about to say was burning in his eyes as he moved back towards her "There are going to be many things we don't agree on, and I won't ask that you turn the other cheek and ignore it, I know that is not in your nature, but I need you to understand that I have to do what I believe in." She met his fervent candor with calm honesty "Then you have to understand that I will do what I believe is best, even if it's against your wishes. That includes protecting you, even from yourself." He looked down in acknowledgment, reluctantly accepting her words. After a moment he reached for her and wrapped his hand in her hair, pulling her face to his "The only way we are going to hold on to each other is if we pledge never to use each other and never to punish each other. To each his own. I swear it." She thought hard for a moment. Knowing him as she did, and the damaged state he was in, this was going to be an extraordinary commitment on both their parts, to understand what was in each other's natures and not hold their actions against them. He was giving as much as he was asking though, and she didn't want to know what the alternative could be. She stared into his eyes and returned his solemnity as she agreed "To each his own. I promise." He kissed her hard.

Eventually they had to go back to their duties. Still uneasy about his state of mind and his now wildly mercurial moods, just before they parted she reminded him "I know your searching for yourself, and I will let you look because you feel you need to, but please remember that you were never lost to me, I could find you anywhere. Just don't push me away." He'd stroked her cheek and answered earnestly "You'll never be away from me long, My lady. Soon you will be free to be with me all the time." His response had puzzled her, but he hadn't elaborated.

She returned to Odin's chambers and had resumed the long watch but kept catching herself with a foolish smile on her face, usually when she noticed Frigga stealing glances at her and smirking conspiratorially to herself. Some secret keeper she was…

Chapter fifteen

Sometime later she heard the Bifrost portal open, replacing her smiles with worry. When it opened again a short while later she couldn't stand not knowing what was happening and excused herself. She walked the long bridge to Heimdall's observatory and found him in a foul mood. He addressed her with bitter formality "Lady Syn." She responded in kind "Heimdall." She tried to break the mood with a smile, but Heimdall did not return it. "What is wrong Heimdall, to whom did you just open the Bifrost?" He stood there assessing her for a moment but she worked it out on her own "Loki went to Jotunheim." There was the barest hint of surprised pride in Heimdall's eyes for a moment before she added "I need to go to Jotunheim." His response was swift and brooked no argument "No." She argued anyway "Heimdall, I must find out what he's done. You know I can take care of myself against the Jotun's." He'd interrupted her "I cannot open the Bifrost to anyone by direct order of my King… and it is not the Jotun's which make me fear for your safety Lady Syn." Feeling as if she were being reprimanded and not knowing how to respond she remained silent while he continued "He cloaked himself in Jotunheim, just as the Jotun's who previously entered our realm were cloaked." If he was expecting her surprise, he didn't find any. She'd accepted that it had to have been Loki and knew proof would turn up in time. Her lack of response worried Heimdall further.

"He is a traitor Lady Syn." This did prompt a response and she admonished him with it "He is your King Heimdall." He bowed his head at the reprimand and she softened her tone "He needs our help and our guidance, not accusations and partiality to a deposed son." His eyes lifted quickly back to hers and she could see the barb stung. "Thor will return when he is ready, but Asgard needs its King, and for now that is Loki." Heimdall tried reasoning "I serve my King faithfully, just as you do Lady. I only fear you may be too close to see the danger you are in by protecting him."

Not wanting to hear anymore, she turned and walked back up the Bifrost to resume her watch.

A short time later she heard the Bifrost open again, despite Heimdall's admission to her that it was to remain shut, so she assumed it was Loki again. Thinking that leaving her post once more would be pointless she ignored it, until she sensed the vault had been opened, and that it had been by Loki's hand.

She couldn't waste her energy on portalling when she was responsible for the Allfather's protection but she'd come as fast as she could. When she arrived she found that he'd gone, and that the casket's pedestal was empty. What was he doing? He wouldn't give it back to the Jotun's, he'd made that clear. Her next realization caused panic to set in. Loki was a frost giant, he could use the casket as a weapon, and the only one that he needed such a weapon to face was a very powerful Asgardian.

Chapter sixteen

She hurried to Heimdall but, as she'd feared, arrived to find him frozen solid. His sword was drawn and must have been at Loki's throat when the ice had overcome him. How much danger would Loki be in when she freed Heimdall? She was debating whether she had enough strength to free Heimdall and protect both he and Loki from one another, when the Bifrost began to open again. Through the observatory doorway she saw the Destroyer was inside and was entering the portal. Without the destroyer to guard it, much worse treasures than the casket were vulnerable to their enemies. She waved her hand, opening her own small portal and jumped directly to the vault, something many wards were set against and was no small feat to overcome. She stood motionless till she was sure she was alone and the contents of the vault were untouched. Her displeasure at the blank pedestal where the casket had sat was replaced by relief when she noted the Infinity Gauntlet was undisturbed. She set about securing the vault as best she could and was already beginning to feel the weariness catching up to her. She was nearly finished when she heard the Bifrost open again. Not knowing who had come in or gone out, she finished securing the vault before she jumped back to Heimdall.

When she reappeared in front of him she discovered he was flanked by frost giants, their presence stunned her for a heartbeat, and the two giants moved to attack her before she performed Heimdall's swift release and he quickly dispatched them both. He was greatly weakened by the ordeal, possibly more so than her exertions so far had made her, but she knew there was no chance she could move him on her own. While she was contemplating how to get him to the healing room, he staggered into the observatory instead. She stood just outside the doorway, unsure what he was trying to do as he slid his sword into the controls opening the portal before he fell unconscious.

Sif, The Warriors Three, and Thor appeared from the portal. They attended to Heimdall as Thor headed for the doorway, telling them "Leave my brother to me." An odd mixture of anxiety and relief flooded Syn as he approached. He stopped short when he saw her and they sized each other up. She looked at him critically for a moment before relaxing slightly, admiration in her tone as she softly admitted "You learned your lesson well." He smiled "and you look like I should be ordering you to the healing room." She inclined her head in acknowledgment of this, but his next words brought her jarringly back to the task at hand "Where is he?" his sudden resolve when he spoke of his brother trickled ice up her spine, but in turning her thoughts back to the events at hand she realized the only person who could have let the frost giants in was Loki, and with the vault sealed there was only one place they could be, the post she'd abandoned. She felt the veil disturbed and gasped "Odin!" before she vanished.

Chapter seventeen

She'd reappeared in his chamber, first seeing Frigga lying on the floor at her feet and then Laufey looming over the prone Allfather with a knife. Just as she'd been about to repel him a blast came from the doorway. She turned to hear Loki whisper with vengeance "and your death came by the son of Odin." Syn backed away, momentarily unsure what Loki's game was, and then saw the betrayal in Laufey's eyes as Loki took aim at him again and destroyed him.

She stood dazed, as Frigga ran to her son and embraced him as a champion. "I swear to you mother, that they will pay for what they have done today." Syn stared at him as she put it all together. Loki had gotten his revenge on Laufey, used Odin as bait, killed his birth father, and made himself look the hero. He had gotten everything he wanted… until Thor's voice echoed menacingly from the doorway "Loki!"

Frigga, oblivious of what was happening, ran to hug him and Syn watched Loki as shock, apprehension, and animosity flit across his face in response to the anger on Thor's. He was ready for the fight the moment Frigga stepped out of the way and the brother's circled each other. Thor spoke first "Why don't you tell her, how you sent the destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me?" Syn's heart sank at hearing it laid out like that, and she'd closed her eyes with disappointment. Frigga had been appalled "What?" Loki continued to try to play it off as they circled Odin's bed like children "Why, it must have been enforcing father's last command." Thor taunted "You're a talented liar brother, always have been." Loki feigned sincerity with his hand over his heart, declaring "It's good to have you back." Then he continued casually "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim." He blasted Thor through the wall and as he fled the room he stopped before her briefly. The madness in his eyes now was nearly complete; he believed that as Jotunheim had destroyed his life, destroying Jotunheim could repair it. He grazed her cheek with his thumb and she frantically tried to think of some way to reach him, squeezing her eyes shut to hide the pain when she realized she couldn't, he was in too deep. When she opened her eyes he was gone. Syn turned to Odin and made a decision.

Chapter eighteen

She put everything she had into the enchantment to wake the Allfather from the Odinsleep. While she tried to concentrate she could hear the Bifrost open and then remain open, long friendship with Heimdall had taught her much about the Bifrost, including what happened when it remained open. She could hear the thunder of Mjolnir. Hear the observatory destroying itself just as the brothers were destroying each other. She was near dead when she finally succeeded in awakening Odin. When he came to, it was to be greeted by her tears and a whispered apology for her failures. Odin reassured her as he wiped her tears away "You did everything you could Syn." She heard the Bifrost and Observatory collapsing and made the decision on instinct. Transporting herself and the Allfather to the end of the Bifrost bridge with the last of her strength. The moment they appeared she collapsed, very near death, while the backlash of the shattered Bifrost blew Thor and Loki into the air.

She drifted in and out of consciousness and fought to hold onto it when she saw the Allfather had caught hold of Thor. She could hear Loki's frantic voice coming from over the broken edge of the Bifrost, still seeking his approval "I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you!" his voice became slightly more sorrowful as he added "for all of us." The hopelessness in the way he'd said it caught at her heart and then her understanding. A glimpse of her lying prone on the Bifrost after the feats she'd done, and would have thought her dead, which was not far from the truth. She did not have the strength even to lift her head, though her heart was screaming. Odin responded "No Loki" and Syn squeezed her eyes shut in agony, knowing this irrefutable rejection, the loss of everything Loki had tried to hold onto, would break him. She heard it in Thor's voice when he realized it as well, cautioning "Loki, no!" She struggled to make her body respond, to beg Odin to stop him, but she had nothing left to give. Then it was too late, Thor cried out to his brother, and she knew that Loki had let go. Syn stopped fighting and let go too, blacking out.

She woke again briefly in Thor's arms as he carried her, most likely to the healing room. One look at the pain in his face and she knew she couldn't handle her own. She let herself drift back into darkness.

Chapter nineteen

It was over a week before she could walk more than a few steps without tiring. She was working on traversing the room when Thor said encouragingly from the doorway "I see you managed to get all the way across this time." She glanced up and acknowledged him before returning her concentration to her feet. While she tried to turn to walk back to the couch she reached the end of her endurance and her legs gave out. Thor caught her before she collapsed to the floor and he carried her back to the couch.

He set her down gently, as if he might break her already frail body "It's too soon Syn. You need to rest." She didn't meet his eyes, only responded in a slight and sullen voice "Which is to say I need to sit here alone with my thoughts… slowly going mad." He watched her with sympathy as she'd spoken and sat next to her. He was about to attempt to start a conversation when she cut him off "I still don't have any answers for you Thor."

He had visited her several times before and she knew he was trying to understand why his brother had done such dark deeds. Odin had revealed the secret of Loki's adoption to Thor shortly after she'd been placed in the healing room. "Syn you were there, father and Heimdall say you acted honorably, that you did everything you could to end the madness. You must know something." She heard the pleading in his voice and looked him firmly in the eye "The story is not mine to tell." He summoned his patience, as if he were dealing with a simpleton. "Syn, Loki is gone. There is no one else to tell his side of the tale."

She looked away and into the fire before she answered in a small voice "I don't believe he is gone." He tried to justify her feelings "None of us want to believe it Syn. We all feel the loss." She'd dismissed this acerbically "I'm not saying that I can't believe he is gone, I'm saying that I don't believe he is gone. I can still feel the tiniest glimmer of him in my soul. I think he is lost and alive somewhere out there, somewhere very far away." She'd become more and more distant as she spoke. When she finished she turned back to Thor and saw his fear, but whether it was fear that she'd gone mad, or fear that she might be right she could not tell. She amended her musings "maybe it would be easier for you all to believe he is gone." His denial was swift "Syn, how can you say such things, we loved Loki as much as you did." She gave him a scathing stare before refusing to speak to him anymore. After a few more minutes trying to reason with her as she stared broodingly into the fire, he left out of frustration and worried that her earlier words may have been truth… maybe she was going mad.

She continued to stare into the fire and concentrate on that glimmer, she whispered to it "I could find you anywhere".

...continued with the Avengers in: Guardian of Secrets; Beyond Reason s/9849985/1/Guardian-of-Secrets-Beyond-Reason


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